off and how often off

There is really nothing like a roof leak to cause you to call everything into question. A roof leak on a cold and rainy day causes two mercurial artists like us to agonize over our decisions from the past 12 years.

This and it being the beginning of Holy Week, the week when we read the Passion in the Gospels. These things help us to right-size our lives, asking: Why did we buy such a big old house? Who did we think we were to sign up for a school that costs what two years of my undergrad cost? Why didn't we do better calculations to consider what our means were? Because one longs for trips, for organic strawberries, or boiled wool slippers does that entitle one to them? What kind of sense do student loans make when we are trying to strip down the expense column to its barest, sparest bones?

I look back on the path of all these decisions, the ones that led us to this point. I feel this mix of being so naive and so entitled but also then as Geoff reminds me, it's okay to admit that we weren't wise. I want to get better at that, changing the heart's course, also known as repentance. Also known as turning a new leaf, rounding a corner, maturation or growth.

I want it to be as easy as re-arranging the furniture. The sofa over 3 feet that makes a world of difference, plugging in a lamp over this table fengs the room's shui. Unfortunately, it's not so easy. We are rearranging some of the financial pieces, some of the school pieces. But with each one comes heart-ache, relational implications, transitions for kids, and sacrifices.

I have to remember that I am not the author of my story. I am a contributor. The author is good. And while it might be difficult, like Gethsemane-difficult, the story will be good.