The mix I made you had the 8 songs you asked for. Besides the songs themselves, what I want to remember is how you made that list back in May. This was more important than the guest list or any other thing for that matter. Your short term memory gaps gave you a doozy of a time in math. But it's also what makes you incredibly forgiving. Forgiving of the girls crankiness, your brother's ribbing, and my impatience. It's funny right-- those things that trip us up and frustrate us can be come little doors to great things, maybe the best things.
Like tap. I love being in tap class with you. I am sweating and trying to remember if a shuffle has 2 beats or 3. You are Gene Kelly in the mirror, making music with your buffalo and your flap-ball-change. When the teacher asks me to remember 3 moves, I am praying I remember and trying not to slip. When the teacher asks you to remember 6 moves, you perform all of them in an 18 move-succession loop! You are fleet and effortless. I will treasure these rare hours with you in the classroom.
You spent 8 hours of your birthday in the pool. Egg drops, belly flops, splash ball battles. Your four grandparents orbited you. Sitting by the pool watching your breath-holding and handstands. Sitting under the tree watching you relay. Mema making and serving food. Pepop playing with Millie. Big Dad and Nanay interviewing Nazeer. It has taken me this long to figure out for your birthday--- tiny guest list, big simple fun.
It has taken me this long too, to realize that the way I want to spend your birthday is with you. Not just around you, doing stuff. I really like playing with you in the pool, eating with you in the shade. Hearing you remember a line from a Prelutsky poem or make a mash-up of two songs-- these observations are how you connect points in the world. How you are part of it. What a rare and precious being you are! Thank you for not being an odd sum of my parts and Dad's parts-- you are so much more than this. You are not just the product of this birth method or parenting philosophy. You are a set-apart vessel in your own right. You have your own story that God is working on with you. I am so excited for you. I can see His work in you-- with your speediness to forgive, the ways you serve your siblings, the ways you are humble to our teaching, and the openness you have in your worship.
I know I can really crowd and constrict you but know that it's in love that I do it. I am trying to remember that God has you so i don't have to squeeze so much.
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
-- lyric from George Matheson 1882
I hope you can relax and rest your soul in God, Manny. You are very much held in love.
